Are You There Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea by Chelsea Handler

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Book Description:

When Chelsea Handler needs to get a few things off her chest, she appeals to a higher power – vodka. You would too if you found out that your boyfriend was having an affair with a Peekapoo or if you had to pretend to be honeymooning with your father in order to upgrade to first class. Welcome to Chelsea’s world – a place where absurdity reigns supreme and a quick wit is the best line of defense.

In this hilarious, deliciously skewed collection, Chelsea mines her past for stories about her family, relationships, and career that are at once singular and ridiculous. Whether she’s convincing her third-grade class that she has been tapped to play Goldie Hawn’s daughter in the sequel to Private Benjamin, deciding to be more egalitarian by dating a redhead, or looking out for a foulmouthed, rum-swilling little person who looks just like her… only smaller, Chelsea has a knack for getting herself into the most outrageous situations.

My Rating: 3.5/5

I’m not a big Chelsea Handler fan. I don’t watch her show, Chelsea Lately, though I’ve seen it. I’ve watched her stand up “Uganda Be Kidding Me” which made me giggle at parts and that’s about my extent of Chelsea Handlerness. I picked up this book while I was leaving work one day. I noticed it on the bargain table and thought, “hmm, it’s already super cheap, plus with my employee discount, it’ll be even cheaper… why not?! ” so by that and only that, I picked it up to read it as an ‘in between’ book. I didn’t really enjoy the first chapter. Honestly after that, I was scared to read the rest and wondered if I was gonna waste my time with this. But I can’t base a book on the first chapter alone, otherwise I would have put down many a great books. I will say the stories do get better the further you get into the book (my personal favorite chapter being “Mini-Me“). I’d give the occasional “hmph” laugh through my nose every once in awhile, but other than that, I probably won’t ever read this book again. Maybe Chelsea Handler fans enjoy it a little more than I do? I’m not sure… but honestly it’s not as crude as I thought it would be from the little I do know of her.. and I can’t figure out if I believe that to be a good thing or bad…

One thing I did enjoy though was I found her not to be as “bad” of a person as I thought her to be and by “bad” I mean… more so a bitch. Not necessarily a bad person. In fact, this book kind of made me feel like I’m the bad one! There were certain parts where she admitted holding back on some things where I would’ve probably said ‘fuck that’ and gone through with it! Butttt then again, she did things I would never in a million years do. But nothing bitchy! Again.. shocked at this revelation! Going back to my ‘favorite’ chapter “Mini-Me,” this seemed to stir up some heated debate! Obviously if you read this, you know why.. it’s basically about her love for dwarf people leading in to one particular story. I don’t care what people think, I thought this was hilarious! Not because this girl was a dwarf, but because of how she acted.  Good comedy crosses lines that common day people will not…. should not… cross. Hence C-O-M-E-D-Y. If you take offense to this chapter, why are you reading her book in the first place? Take the stick out of your butt and remember she’s a comedian. Yeah not all of them do their practice tastefully but I personally don’t believe she was crossing any lines and at the end of the day, she was doing a generous deed to a human being.

That being said, I WOULD recommend this book to fans of her work. I would recommend it to someone looking for a light chuckle, someone who isn’t expecting a hilarious read. But I would not recommend paying full price for it.